Quote of the day

It's human to make mistakes and some of us are more human than others. ~~~Ashleigh Brilliant

How to Tell if You're in Menopause (A Satire)

I found this at more.com and thought it was hilarious!!

How to Tell if You're in Menopause (A Satire)
by Patricia Volonakis Davis

For many women, the cessation of the monthly flow is often not enough to tell for sure whether they?ve reached that ?time of life? or not. That?s why I, using the knowledge I?ve gained from obtaining my DFR (Doctorate in Failed Relationships), have provided you with this scientific checklist.

You will know you are in menopause if:

1) That ?monthly bloating? you get around your tummy lasts for two consecutive years or more, and is now additionally spreading to your hips and thighs.

2) You wake up one morning, glance in the mirror, and notice that the skin on your face has shifted so drastically, it appears as though you?ve had a stroke, although you can still smile. (Except that you don?t want to.)

3) One day, out of the blue, you look at your husband and grown children and wonder, ?Who are these people sitting around my table, and why did I get off Facebook to cook for them??

4) The actual mechanics of sex suddenly seem as ludicrous to you now as they did when you first heard about them on the playground when you were nine years old.

Or???

6) You think about having sex all the time, except that the people you think about having it with were all born after 1985.

5) You say, ?The hell with it,? get the names of all your grandchildren tattooed on your (sagging) backside, and buy a motorcycle.

Google Ads

So I have some google ads on my blog. No big deal. It's not like I'm getting rich off it LOL Anyways, I use a gadget to post to my blog through iGoogle, and only occasionally actually go to it. I decided to this morning just for giggles, and the ad on the page is for Yankee Candles!!! WTF??? It was right next to the little widget I made for my Gold Canyon candles. Talk about showcasing the competition LOL

Grilled Jumbo Shrimp with Guajillo Chile Lime Sauce

Recipe by Chef Jon Bonnell, from Chile Pepper Magazine
Yield: 4 to 6 servings
Ingredients

2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
1 sweet onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 small can chopped tomatoes
5 guajillo chiles, stemmed and seeded
juice of 2 limes
salt and freshly ground pepper
5 jumbo Texas shrimp, peeled and deveined, for each serving
cooked rice, for serving
chopped scallion, for garnish
Preparation

In a saucepot over medium heat, warm 1 tablespoon oil. Add the onions and garlic, and cook gently until soft. Add in the chicken stock and tomatoes, and bring to a simmer. Toast the chiles in a heavy skillet for a few seconds, then add to the simmering pot. After 6 to 8 minutes, pur?e the mixture with a stick blender, add the lime juice, and season with salt and pepper.

In a separate pan, saut? the shrimp in a little olive oil. Add in a few ounces of the sauce mixture and simmer the shrimp until cooked. Serve over rice, and garnish with chopped scallions.

First 8 mins of V

The new V series will debut on ABC next month. I can't wait!! Here's a preview of the first 8 mins.

Basic Quiche Custard Recipe

Basic Quiche Custard
for 1 9-inch pie pan

1 c. whole milk
1 c. cream
2 whole eggs + 2 egg yolks
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. nutmeg

Whisk all ingredients together. Add whatever elements you like to an unbaked pie crust and pour on the custard. Bake for approx. 35 minutes in a 375 degree oven.

Personally, I like to put broccoli and cheese in it :)

If the TV Dinner Wasn't Invented Until the Computer Age

Good joke: If the TV Dinner Wasn't Invented Until the Computer Age